I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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