he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
