the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
