Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The power of my boobs compel you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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