Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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