does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
