Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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