I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
