so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
