Already got asked if we're dating
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize