I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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