im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
