Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
