I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
