I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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