Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
