we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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