I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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