So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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