Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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