If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
