Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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