does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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