oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize