Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
