Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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