I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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