he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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