Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
