Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
