We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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