You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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