Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
