what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
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And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
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