I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
