i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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