So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
