i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
try to milk me bitch
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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