Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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