You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
