Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I will be naked everywhere
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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