So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
