so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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