Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
