my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
