i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
