Duck Duck Cougar?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
