Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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