do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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