A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think people are normalizing furries
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
