How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize