i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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