as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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