Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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