Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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