Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
