Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
