Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
