just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
