2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
