I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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