my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
