i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
