I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
