what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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