strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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