As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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